Life has a way of taking unexpected turns and throwing us random curveballs.
After overcoming a particularly rough patch in my life, I found myself working full-time for my dad’s business. It was a dream come true – something I had looked forward to for years. My dad and I were incredibly close and he had always been one of my biggest supporters. His decision to hire me wasn’t just a practical lifeline, it was a profound gesture of love and trust that wasn’t lost on me.
This was something that just five years prior would have been nothing but a dream. I had a lot of learning to do and wasn’t sure I was capable. My dad assured me that I was. He told me that I was capable of not only this job, but of even more. He said that being able to hire me was an answered prayer and that he believed in me. I was determined to do a good job if only to live up to my dad’s expectations.
Just three months into this new chapter, our world was turned upside down. My dad was diagnosed with cancer and he declined rapidly. Suddenly, my role shifted from employee to caregiver. Those months were challenging, but also incredibly precious. I had the opportunity to be there for my dad in a way I never imagined, showing him the depth of my love and gratitude. In a way, it was a healing time for both of us, allowing us to strengthen our bond even further. I was able to just sit with my dad and let him tell me stories of his childhood, his time in the military and CHP, and countless jokes and funny stories. Going through cancer treatments brought lots of tears and anxiety, but also priceless memories.
Tragically, my dad passed away six months after his diagnosis. The loss was devastating to me and my entire family. My dad was my hero, a pillar of strength both physically and emotionally. His absence left a void that seemed impossible to fill. Losing a parent is something that truly changes you, no matter how prepared you think you are.
In the depths of my grief, I found myself turning to three powerful sources of strength: my faith in the Lord, my family, and my daughter.
My relationship with God became my anchor, providing comfort when nothing else could.
My family leaned on each other, feeling a closeness that we hadn’t felt in some time. It was my family and my daughter who became guiding lights. The responsibility of being a good example to her, as my parents were to me, gave me purpose when I felt lost. Watching her grow, laugh, and thrive in the wake of this tragedy became a powerful reminder of life’s resilience and God’s enduring love.
As I focused on being a mom, I found healing in unexpected ways. My daughter’s simple faith and trust in the Lord helped renew my own. It brought life back to my eyes, hope back to my future, and true laughter again in what seemed like a hopeless time. I tried to hide my tears to be strong for her and not talk about my dad for fear of hurting her heart. Amazingly, she brought up stories and fun memories of him to encourage my own. What a gift!
Through the pain of loss, I began to see small glimpses of God’s greater plan. I started a new job where I felt such peace. I felt a taste of the promise in Jeremiah 29:11: “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'”
This journey has taught me that while we may not understand God’s plan in the moment, His love and grace are constant. As Christians, we are not immune to suffering, but we have a unique source of comfort – the promises of God. We have belief that His plan is ultimately for our good. Someday we’ll know why things happened, why we had to suffer, but for now we can trust His Word and lean on His love.
I miss my dad every day. I find solace in the promise that we’ll meet again. My faith and my family have been my pillars of strength. They have helped me to not just survive, but to find moments of joy and purpose – even in grief.
To those going through similar struggles or facing hard times, I extend an invitation. Consider opening your heart to Jesus and His plan for your life. Allow yourself to be loved unconditionally. Lean into your faith, your family, your friends. Focus on something outside yourself. Volunteer, help your neighbor, anything. Look for the small miracles.
Life is full of twists and turns, but by focusing on Jesus as your guide, you might just find light in the darkest of times. Even in our most painful moments, hope and new beginnings can emerge in the most unexpected ways. Remember, “joy comes in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5)
Amy Spicer is Communications Manager at Koinonia Church. She can be reached at amy@kchanford.com or 559-582-1528.