Have you ever felt you needed to protect or defend yourself? Have you done things that have brought you shame or guilt? Have others said or done things that marked you?
There are a number of things that can cause us to build up walls around ourselves and specifically, around our heart. There are steps we take in order to survive or protect ourselves. We don’t trust or let people get close to us. We may isolate or draw inward. We harden our heart and build up walls.
The thing about these defenses is…when you no longer need them to survive, they tend to harm you and those around you. They can create a person who is negative, pessimistic, critical, judgy, perfectionistic, controlling. In a word…harsh. These characteristics hurt our relationships with others, even those close to us. It can even hurt our relationship with God.
I know this from personal experience. My childhood gave me survival skills that turned me into a very strong, independent person but a person with very high walls. I ended up with a hardened heart. God calls this a heart of stone.
Funny thing is, I was quite aware of the impact my childhood had on my development. I had recognized it, forgiven all those involved, and moved on with my relationship with the Lord and my family.
Sometimes, we don’t even know that something is holding us captive. I didn’t. During a difficult time as I cried out to God, He revealed to me that I did not fully trust Him. I was shocked! Then, I was full of remorse and asked my Lord to forgive me.
Do you have some walls that need to come down? How do we bring down those walls and soften our heart? Usually, we can’t…not on our own. However, we know Who can. There is freedom, peace and inner healing that can comes from God Himself.
It hinges upon two things—
- TRUST God fully
- SURRENDER everything to God
Believe me, easier said than done. However, it is possible.
Want to have God reveal to you what He sees in your heart? Pray this scary Bible verse found in Psalm 139:23-24, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way.” If you ask Him, He will.
He says, “I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh…you will be my people and I will be your God”. – Ezekiel 36:25-26, 28 (NIV)
Will you trust God enough to let down your walls and surrender all to Him? Will you let Him be your Protector and Defender? When I did, I experienced freedom, contentment and a lightness that I have never felt or imagined. I will never be the same. My marriage will never be the same. My relationships will never be the same.
Here are some of the verses I turn to when I sense a tendency to harden my heart again…
“The Lord is my strength and my shield; in Him my heart trusts, and I am helped…” – Psalm 28:7
“But you, Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high.” – Psalm 3:3
“The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” – Psalm 18:2
We don’t have to remain hardened by our past. Why not pray for God for your inner healing right now? Or perhaps seek out a church that will pray with you.
Peace to you, in Jesus’ name!
Sylvia Gaston is Connections Pastor at Koinonia Church in Hanford, CA. She can be reached at sylvia@kchanford.com or 559-582-1528.