When You Feel Disconnected at Church
If you’ve been a Christian long enough, you know that there are seasons of life that affect your walk with Jesus. A death in the family, health problems, and changes in your personal relationships can affect your perception of God’s presence whether you’re at work, home, or church. The good news is that God never changes. He never leaves you and will not forget about you (Deuteronomy 31:18). But when you are going through a challenging season, you can feel disconnected in many areas of your life, including church.
I’ve recently had a health challenge with severe arthritis in my left knee. This caused me to stop taking new clients in my business (I am a piano tuner/technician) and take a long sabbatical from participating on the worship team at church. Initially, I enjoyed the extended break from the pace that I’d been trying to keep. However, after several weeks of this enforced rest, I began to feel depressed and isolated. For about a month, I rarely left the house because driving or sitting in a car as a passenger was excruciatingly painful. My knee needed to be in a neutral position with regular rounds of ice and a heating pad. I became very good friends with our easy chair. During this time, I watched church from home on YouTube.
I am so grateful that our church has long invested in this option for its members. Of course, during the pandemic, many churches found themselves getting very creative about reaching their congregations through online streaming. Since then, most of our church has returned to the building but many members, myself included, have continued to need technology on Sundays.
One side effect of my prolonged isolation and depression was that I felt very disconnected from my church. In the past, I’ve lead bible study groups, participated in women’s ministry, volunteered in our community Serve Day and, of course, played my instruments several times a month on the worship team. My church life came to a screeching halt this past summer. I became very aware that there must be an entire population of Christians out there who feel the same way, whether they’re disconnected due to health reasons like me, or because they just haven’t found their place at church.
Are you feeling disconnected, and maybe even resentful, toward your church? It can be so easy to feel that way, especially in a large church. You might be waiting for others to approach you when God wants you to reach out and touch them. In my case, I was a little bit disappointed that no one from church checked up on me very often. Then I had to face the truth: feeling angry or resentful is your first clue that you’re thinking of yourself and not of others.
There’s a saying that’s been going around for a few years that goes something like this… “So, you didn’t like the worship music or sermon at church this morning? That’s ok. We weren’t worshipping you.” Ouch! The truth can be painful. What is the solution? The first thing to do is pray. Talk to God about how you’re feeling. Lay out all your frustrations and concerns. He already knows what you’re going through but there’s something beautiful that happens when you confess your true self to Him. Ask Him for direction. He is so creative and will give you personalized ideas for finding a new connection with your church life.
What are your gifts and talents? Is God calling you to use them in a new way? I’ve been a church musician since I was 12 years old, but there are some new ideas percolating in my heart now that have been placed there by God. Be open to new experiences. Be willing to be uncomfortable and to step forward before anyone steps toward you.
Put a smile on your face even if you don’t feel like it because God is waiting to use you to touch others. He will bless you many times over when you put yourself aside and let Him work through you.
“When we get together, I want to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours.” -Romans 1:12 NLT
“And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.” -Hebrews 10:25 NLT
“For we are both God’s workers. And you are God’s field. You are God’s building.” -1 Corinthians 3:9 NLT
“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.” -Galatians 6:9-10 ESV
Paula Aiton is a member of the Koinonia Church worship team and a freelance writer, musician and artist. Her blog, ‘God’s Glory Girl’, can be found at godsglorygirl.com